It started so simply. Would I like to switch my billing from Foxtel to Telstra, get a free upgrade and keep all my current benefits, plus get some cheaper calls?
I should have seen the signs right there, should't I? But no, I was a little on the Homer Simpson side that evening, 6.5 weeks ago, and I thought "Sure, why not? Where's the harm?"
So cue me having to take 6, yes SIX days off work to be there for "highly trained" technicians that could never manage to, um, DO SHIT AT ALL would be fairly accurate, really.
The first one didnt have any details on the upgrade (which was the whole reason he was there - I already HAD foxtel obviously or else how could I "switch providers" but oh well)
The 2nd only knew it was an upgrade to IQ, not also a multiroom being added
The 3rd knew all the details, but didnt have the necessary tools.
The 4th called the evening before to confirm the work, and since he had to climb around the ceiling running cables, decided it was too hot the next day to do that, and said he wouldnt be coming.
The 5th, well if I'm honest, the fifth didnt happen, I just got requests to confirm my re-re-re-re-booking for the wrong day. I booked the 28th, they were confirming the 21st - a day where I was required at a wedding, and had said that was the ONLY day I was not available.
The 6th turned up. Called another 4 men to my house and wandered through like they all owned the joint, not even announcing their presence or acnowledging mine.
The job EVENTUALLY got done that day after some dramas, and the IQ upgrade was switched on. They left. The channel wont change. The volume wont change. I cant move the entertainment unit back because he has left a pile of tools behind it. Well, at least that guarantees me a service call to fix it!
He comes back, gets his tools, and huffs and puffs about having to fix the IQ box. Um, your crappy install mate, not mine! So no bitching to me please!
He leaves again. Stupid (like a fox) me didn't think to check they installed the standard multi-room box correctly.
He didn't. Of course.
So ensues a battle of the giants. Both sides doing their utmost to win the crown of "Biggest Idiot in the Universe"
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The battle was epic. So epic that it still rages on, some 2 weeks later.
Apparently I am credited with less intelligence than a slightly retarded hamster. Apparently I am too stupid to open my eyes, and tell the difference between a hole that is empty, and a hole that has something in it. Like a Smartcard. You know, those little things that MAKE THE FOXTEL BOX WORK!!!!!!!
Me (apparently)
It would appear that when they ask me (at least a BILLION times by now) for my name, DOB and phone number to bring up my account, that there are now so many notes that they refuse to read them, and ask me to explain it again because there is just too much there. Either that, or my account brings up the reference:
(personally, I think this is much more THEM than ME)
I have been hung up on twice, switched back and forth between Foxtel and Telstra 9 times, called an idiot, had it inferred that I was dumb, a liar, and a generally not-nice person, and transferred to the wrong section 11 times. AND THATS JUST TODAY!!!! This has been going on now for over 2 weeks. And today was in fact the SECOND TIME IN 2 DAYS I HAVE BEEN HUNG UP ON!
Now I know I can go off, but I have been making these calls from work, because the Idiot Technician managed to sever my house phone line when installing the box that doesnt work. So seeing as I am in an open plan office, I hardly think I have been rude to anyone and deserved to be hung up on. Ihave not raised my voice, I have not used bad language, and I have not been insulting. In fact, I make it a point to apologise to the person who takes my call, and tell them that whilst I am frustrated, I don't mean to offend them or take it out on them, because I know they are just the poor sucker who picked up my call.
But people, let me assure you, it is damned frustrating, rude, insulting and inappropriate to tell your customer that they are wrong when they say there is no Smartcard in the box.
I have eyes.
I can see, quite clearly in fact, that there is no Smarcard in the Smartcard hole.
I do not want to hear that there is no way your technician would leave my house without putting the card in the box. Because this idiot left a whole pile of tools here and had to come back to get them.
I do not want to hear that I'm not looking in the right place. There is only one hole. I am not a 15 year old boy. I know which hole is which.
I do not know, nor do I care what kind of box it is. I told you I have IQ not IQ2, just plain IQ in the living room, and a standard foxtel box as the multiroom, which is the one that is the issue. Yes, I was probably being a smart ass when you asked again what box it was and I said "its a GREY one, does that help? I dont know, and I dont care what kind of box it is, its a box without a smartcard, what else is there to know????" but I had explained this several times and pre-warned you that I was frustrated. I think it was a fair call. No need to hang up on me for that.
No I cannot call you from in front of the box, because your technician that is so highly trained and wouldnt stuff up like that actually severed the phone line installing this card-less box, and as I've been on this call for 56minutes already, no I dont intend to start again tonight and have this call length billed to my mobile. (and yes, when the sparky comes and fixes the phone line, ill be taking photos and copying his report and sending YOU the bill, just FYI)
And no, I dont want to listen to your "quick fixes". I have told you already that I have been calling for TWO WEEKS trying to fix this, I have tried all your little "tricks" and can (and will, and do, and have) interrupted you to finish your sentence giving me the instructions. None of your "fixes" work, because they all need a smartcard to be in the box, and guess what? THERE ISNT ONE IN THERE, LIKE I FRIGGIN SAID!!!!
For fucks sake. All I need is a card. You can mail me one. It costs like $0.55. It isn't hard. I'd send you the coins in the mail, but I'm afraid it would have to be accompanied by this:
SUCK IT!
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