The Festival of Fucktards Was On Today.

Things that I have needed to say in the last 12 hours, not including re-educating 17year old "experts" in politics (who I might add, cant even vote yet):

"Um, NO, I cant tell you how to do it, because Vista is a retarded dinosaur, and I neither know nor care how to find shit on there because all the bullshit 'new features' were just rolled back becase THEY SUCK"


Which was very shortly followed with:

" if i have to deal with your bullshit theiving lebbo cost cutting ways anymore i will scream"

Then there was:

"so its not ok for 'cute' little puppies to die because, to quote you directly, "all living creatures deserve to live", however your suggestion to use 'live fish' instead to catch and kill those yukky sharks is in no way at odds with your previous sentence?"

And lets not forget:

"um, no, Egypt is in fact on the continent of AFRICA. Its is not on the continent of ARABIA. Which, by the way, is a whole other kind of FAIL on your part"

There was:

Me:  "I dont care if Word2007 recognises it as a word. It's not. Word2007  is NOT the deciding factor in whether or not something is a part of the english language"
Eedyot: "But...."
Me:  "Look, Microsoft's spell checker is like the Wikipedia of Dictionaries, okay?"
Eedyot:  "But I found it on Dictionary.com too!"
Me: (rolling eyes) "oh, well thats OK then, why didn't you say so before? *cough* RETARD *cough*

The unbelievably regular:

Me: "um, yes, I think you will indeed find that there ARE white South Africans, and that I am, indeed, one of them"

which upon being met with a rather dumb stare, prompted me to have to say:

Me: "have you not heard of Apartheid?"

and the all-time, best EVER idiotic response was....... (drumroll)

Eedyot: "oh, I thought that was just a movie. you know, with that boxer kid?" - yes, it was in fact The Power of One *cringe* At least he didnt ask what country in South Africa I was from.

I also had the pleasure of dealing with a customer who placed an order for product, via email, followed this up with a fax of an official - signed - purchased order, another email asking how long it would take to receive their product, responded to our ETA email saying that was fine, emailed again on the day of the ETA (at 10am no less) asking why they hadn't got it yet, signed for it at 11.23am that day, returned one of the six items on the order/invoice to swap it for a "nicer colour", and then promptly refused to pay because they "never received it". I provided electronic POD, and was met with "never ordered it". I provided their signed PO and was met with "we didnt need it". They did not like my response of

Me:       "Oh, well that's good then! You will have no problems paying your invoice today seeing as it is so far outside trading terms. I'm so glad we could resolve this so quickly, that's great!"
Eedyot:  "Um, thats not what I said. I said....."
Me:        (butting in) "oh yes, I heard what you said. You said you didnt need the products, correct?"
Eedyout: (sounding relieved) "yes, yes thats right"
Me:        "Thats great! You know, with the GFC and all, its so nice to hear that your company is doing so well that it has all this extra cash lying around to be able to afford products that it doesn't need. I'm glad to hear that, because that means I wont have to do the short walk 3 doors down to the courthouse to lodge a Statement of Claim against you. I'll just make a note that you will be paying this by EFT today, shall I?"
Eedyot:   "But...."
Me:         "Because with all the docmented evidence of you ordering and receiving this product that constitutes a valid contract of sale that is such a clear cut case, I would hate to add costs to something your going to pay today, since you have all that extra money for non-needed products and all......"
Eedyot:    ".............. um..........ah ............"
Me:         "oh look, I just noticed where you cc'd me on an email to "John Doe" asking for his approval for payment, and oh, yep! There is his response saying it was all ok. Well that makes it easy for you, huh! Great!"
Eedyot:    "............... um.......... yeah. So what's your bank details?"

Eedyots. The bloody whole world is full of them.