meh? bleh

I. AM. SO. MEH.

Fuck me but I am the most depressed, fucked up, nothing blob of a lump! I'm so over everything, especially me!

Work is F.U.C.K.E.D. I tells ya, I am sooooo over my company, bunch of twats couldn't sort a pissup in a brewery, let alone run a fucking business. The list of problems wouldnt fit on a roll of toilet paper in single spaced 2point type. What they are doing to fix them would fit on the arse of a fly written by a kindgergarten kid in jumbo crayons.

I kid you not.

And the job hunt is a fucking C.U.N.T. I am soooo over that too.

Let me elaborate. (Because its my blog and ranting here saves the sanity of my loved ones who will shortly disown me if I crap on much more)

I am the Financial Controller for a manufacturing company. We "make" *cough* stuff that goes on buildings so they look purdy. Now when I say MAKE, I actually mean that we buy the things and paint 'em pretty colours and make some other clown put them up. So really we are glorified painters but the MD wont stand for that kind of honesty here. We're IMPORTANT because he says so, ok? Le sigh.

So the Building & Construction industry is a cuntacular crap fest at the best of times, and in economic hardship is the first one to take a dive. Which of course it has. And nobody has any money. So we arent getting paid. Making my job a spectacular tale of woe on a daily basis.

Add into this that the factory has been consistantly turning out utter shit in the way of product. Thats right folks, you can actually seriously fuck up what is essentially poking big things through a doo-dad that squirts coloured crap at them. WTF???? How is this job hard?

Its not. However contrary to my advice, their pay system changed 6 months ago, and now actively rewards them for stuffing up.

See, because the pretty bits go onto the building last, our customers are always in a tizzy and want their shit NOW. I dont blame them. With liquidated damages of over $15K a day for being late, I'd throw a mammoth sized tantrum too if someone was holding me up! However our boys are given overtime whenever a product is required urgently (ie ALWAYS). So although we schedule our production carefully, and manage shifts, if you say, PUT BLUE WHERE IT SHOULD BE YELLOW for example, and the yellowness is required TOMORROW, guess what happens? That's right chickens, you get to RE-DO the job, and that means? OVERTIME!!!!

My once beautiful books are running at a minimum of 30hours a week EVERY WEEK for EVERY factory employee. Thats 3 shifts people. Thats a shitload of 1.5x and 2x pay!

My once pretty profit margins have been SHOT TO SHIT, and I am being asked an awful lot of questions which I dont get allowed to answer at board meetings (dont even start, I'm spoken over and shut out or just not invited after I ASSERTED myself and managed to get into a shouty fight at the last one). Basically we are operating at a loss, month after month, and our MD doesnt seem to give a toss.

I got fired last year.

Not because I suck, I don't, well not like that, but because the MD and his wife (dont start me on that) thought it would be a good cost cutting measure as I cost them more than any other staff member here other than the MD,and since I authorise the payroll, I know its not far short of his salary either. That's right, as a money saving idea, they sacked the person who looks after their money and has saved them a fortune this past year.

uhuh

The MD even followed his "your fired" line with "your the best person we have had in the position in a long time" and "when the company is more profitable I would like to know if we can call on you to come back". WTF?

So after I had recovered from the shock, I explained that this was FUCKING RETARDED. I pointed out that I had reduced their debts by almost half a mil, collected outstanding monies they thought they'd never see, and managed to run over a quarter million dollars more out of the bank than the MD thought in the space of 3 months. This was to pay suppliers, not myself, which was of course my mistake. But for a very hands on MD to not have felt the impact of a 1/4mil EXTRA in expenses from a very tight budget that he is very hands-on with, well, kudos to me. The end result was that he realised he was a moron and asked me to stay on.

Needless to say folks, Im not feeling very appreciated, motivated, or secure. And yes, he knows I'm leaving, and why. Funnily enough he says I can stay as long as I like, and he will be sorry to see my fat ass walk out the door. HUMPF.

So I goes to get me a new job like, roight?

Apparently that is how I have been viewed in the marketplace. Either that or as a prissy stuck up bitch. Because I'm having trouble finding a job, for the first time EVAH in my life, and for vastly different reasons. And I just dont get it.

So I get the fact that the only accounting jobs are in Credit and Payroll. Der.

But why when I find those few "real" jobs (real for me - im not stuck up, im just past that in my career) I get told all sorts of things as to why Im not getting them. And get this, the 2 reasons are:

1. Your overqualified/too experienced
2. You dont want this job

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKKKKKKKKKKK?????????

For starters, would I seriously waste my time going to 3 fucking interviews for the job if I didnt want it? I have a life. I dont do interviews for fun because I'm lonely or summin' so FUCK OFF WITH THAT CRAP

Secondly, whats wrong with TOO MUCH EXPERIENCE for the job? Isn't that a GOOD thing? Arent you getting a GOOD DEAL in me then?

Sweet baby jebus!

Why is it so hard to understand that I have a kid, an inadequate boyfriend, run my own business part time on evenings and weekends, help out the inadequate boyfriend with his business, have a large family, lots of friends, and study online via correspondence, and would like to take a step DOWN in my work for a couple of years?

I don't want to be a Financial Controller anymore. I want to be my assistant. In a couple/few years I'll be back to FC'ing but for now, I would like to remember what my kid looks like without mountains of paper and a giant computer screen obscuring my view.

Is that so wrong?

I just want to be an Assistant Accountant. I can do the work. Sure the pay is shithouse, compared to what I get now, but hey, I can live with that if it means I dont work 14 hour days and take reems of paper home each night.

Ever hear of work/life balance?

How about you bastards let ME decide what I would be happy doing, and what I am willing to accept as payment for doing it? It is me who has to live my life isn't it?

I currently work for fuckwits who apparently just cant be arsed fixing their shit up. But hey, the company is being sold, so who cares if we destroy everyones hard work, right? Who gives a crap if we run it into the ground, our staff will fix it up again! They'll be happy to! (umm, yeah, thats why I know for a fact that a number of them already have their resume out in the market)

Why ever would I want to leave?

And the fact that Im not even 30 yet but have a heap of grey hairs, that wouldn't be any indication why I want my next job to be less stressful would it?

Fuck me but there are alot of dumb cunts out there.

Including the recruitment company who interviewed me and paused to ask who is a CONTRA becuase they dont know what "they" do, and the job spec has "their" name all over it.

I mean christ, if your going to recruit accounting roles, get a clue would you?

Fucking 18yr old know-it-alls with nicer offices than mine telling me I'm not good enough becuase I'm too good. Wankers.

Someone get me some toilet paper. I dont want to write a list, but I think I'm going to need it to clean up all the shit they will be talking at my next interview.

Id say wish me luck but whats the point? MEH.