Im Baaaack.....

And isn't that a frightening proposition?

So how are we all, poppets? Good? Good.

Hasn't the world changed while I was away? Lets see.....

The US has a new president, and whilst most will point out the historical significance of him being black yadda-yadda, personally I think the biggest difference is that finally they have a leader who can string 2 whole coherant sentences together! Hooray for literacy!

Israel bombed the crap out of a country who fight back with sticks and stones (apparently they DO break bones) and are promptly pulling out now that they aren't 100% assured of US backing. Whats that you say? Oh sorry, yes I DID start by saying what was new, my bad.

The weather got hot, the big HoHoHo man came and went, so apparently did the economic crisis (eh? hello journalists? are you there? because the money mess still is, your just not reporting on it) and fuel is now affordable to people other than Rupert Murdoch. A new year came and a billion or so resolutions have fallen to the wayside, flame wars erupted, people got fatter or skinnier, sometimes both. And just about everyone has returned to work, with the kids all going back in under a week (or over a week, depending on if these teachers get the fuck over themselves or not by then).

On the personal front, because of course its all about me, there have been a few developments.

As I havent yet broken MY new Years Resolution, I'm going to keep it brief and not be a giant bitching sad sack drama queen. (Not too much of one anyway)

1. I really REALLY need a new job. The company I work for, whose Senior Management I have always maintained is a giant fuckwit of the highest order (yes i CAN back that up haters, just try me) has excelled himself and now our majority shareholder is distancing himself as quickly as possible. Long story short, new investor (read personal friend of our MD with too much money, too little brains and WAAAAYYY too much faith in his friendship) is buying them out. Sale gets finalised next week. New Investor Dude is at least not TOTALLY fucked in the head, and is bringing in his own accountant to do my job. Smart move for him, let me tell you. So if anyone has a job for an FC going, PASS IT MY WAY PLSSSSSSS!!!!!

2. The above means I am currently busting my ass work-wise for the next 7 days. (current blogging caper aside) and im TIRED. My brain is seriously overloaded with all the loose ends which need tidying. Not. Happy. Jan.

3. Health Issues. Bite, badly. Thats all I have to say about that right now.

4. Man trouble. Cant. Even. Begin. To. Process. Epic fail. EPIC. Seriously pissed that men cant be men. I dont give a shit that we are fighting, I still want my cock. Gimme. GIMME NOW. Why can men not shut their gob and drop their pants when you demand it? Take your anger out on me sexually. I mean it. Do it. NOW. Harder. HARDER. HARDER!!!!! Why is it so hard to get some relief?

5. My fat arse is now GY.NORM.US. It has outstripped its own postcode. It is now a metropolis in its own right. Send help. Immediately. Is there and anti World Food Organisation? If so I need them STAT.

6. My house is a sty. An absolute STY.

7. Dont start me on my kid. He was eaten by a dog. I cried. He cried. I gave him extra attention, hugs and kisses, and now he is a monster. Sigh.

8. Families are bullshit. Nuff said.

9. My finances are SHOT. I have absolutely no idea where they are at or how long my savings will need to last. And do I have a new home yet? No I do not. So I am still in the rental from hell. Considering my job, Im sure you can appreciate the enormity of this for me. I seriously cant sleep because of this.

10. For a variety of reasons, I am very lonely, depressed, stressed and worrying right now. And after a recent episode, I no longer doubt that anxiety is an actual medical complaint/condition.

Must do something to fix all of the above. Give me a shout out if any of you a) still read me, and b) have any help to give vis a vis A PLAN OF ACTION!

I already have phase 1. Its no more of THIS:

PS 'Tis good to be back.