My, my.....

Aren't I the naughty little little blogger? I start blogging again, and dont bother to actually BLOG anything!

So spring has sprung and there is a snake in my garden. He's a big mother fucker and is might-e scary. He is all slithery and sneaky and tricky and hides. I dont like him one bit, no sir-ee bob.

Apparently the hovel I am currently renting (update on the home front, I may just be building. exciting MUCH, non?) has turned me into a slovenly beast. Not only is my home THE most messiest it has ever been, but I myself have become one of earths most fearsome beasts...... the BOGAN! Thats right folks, I am a lazy little beyotch and not only do I not clean, I also do not shave my legs. All this pretty weather and this little heffer is still in JEANS! Baring anything above the nail on my big toe is strictly FOR-BID-DEN. I am a hippy from ningen. Oh noes! Disclaimer: Above depiction is an exaggeration. Tis actually not that bad. Reality is I havent shaved since Thursday. Legs that is. Underarms and pussy are in tip top shape as per always coz anything less is feral. Apologies for TMI. Actually, no, no apology. Tis my blog so geffukd.

The work front is CAR-RAZE-EEEEE! Fuck me sideways if I'm not heading for a complete meltdown. Not going to bitch here because, well, can't be arsed. Work is D.U.L.L. Word.

The sproglet got in MASSIVE troubles at school a couple weeks ago and has had his poor mother in anguish over what-to-do's and the like. Next thing you know, the little shit comes home with 3 fucking merit certificates in the space of a week. Why cant the little turds ever stay on one path for more than 5 seconds? Im old fuck ya, I cant keep up with this shit!

So the school house insult of the moment is to tell someone that they, or what they are doing, is GAY. Woah. Terrible much. So what does any socially concious rug munching mother do in such a situation? Does she set her young'un down and lecture on the acceptance and tolerance of others? Nah. Course not. She sees him being a fuckhead in public, and says in a loud voice during one of those oh so frequent (in her life anyway) timely silences "Sprog, fucking dont do that mate, THATS GAY". Ok, so I may have been stared at, pointed to and talked about for the next milennium, however sproglet DID stop doing what I was yelling at him for, so its all good in my books! Besides, Im not gay. Im just experimenting. Its normal for teenagers dontcha know? Whats that? I look older than a teenager? Yes, well, us single mums are busy bitches you know, and im only just getting around to that now, mkay? Seeing as Im not cleaning my house, shaving my legs, or being an appropriate role model for my spawn, I have alot more hours in the day and can get down to the really important things like going all Britney/Lindsay/Paris. *Sigh* What a life!

The inadequate boyfriend is inadequate much. Never fear, no bitching here! Suffice to say, he is no longer surprised at my daily reminders that I hate him. He wasnt even surprised when I rang him today for the sole purpose of telling him so. He just accepts that with rather good grace now. So see folks? There IS light at the end of the tunnel. Is that a rumbling I hear? Getting closer? Where is that coming from I wonder?

And to top it all off I had a hot lezzo whom I met on sunday right here in my very own bedroom after a lovely lunch. And i gots me NO DESSERT!

Epskee in a bedroom with a hot chick? EPIC FAIL (#3).

Well at least I know the force is with me.......... its name is gravity and its staying with me the whole way down.......


WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!