Sorry

Is a hard word to say, and doesn't often help much anyway.

Im sorry I haven't been blogging. Im dealing with something. I'd say I was devestated, however I'm not really sure how I feel, other than not good.

The worst part is, I'm under a gag order, which really that person has ZERO right to try and impose.

The only reason it's currently being followed, is that its too god damn awful to contemplate admitting on my own part. And until I know how I fel about it all and what I'm going to do myself, I don't want to go saying things that will force my hand, or heaven forbid, make this any more difficult for myself than it needs to be.

Just for once I'm going to be a grown up. I'm going to shut my big fat gob, put my head down, and not immediately explode with the first thing that comes to mind. I'm going to take a little time, however long that turns out to be, and I'm going to make the right decision on how I proceed.

God dammit, I cant even feel sorry for myself properly.I dont like this "taking responsibility for things" caper. No siree, bob. Dont like it at all.

As Cartman says "Lame. Not Kewl. Totally Lame." Sigh. Right now, thats me. Lame. And not kewl.

Sorry.