The one with Popcorn, Malteasers and a Ginormous Coke

Firstly let me say thanks to all of you who had kind things to say regarding my last post. Yes, life sucks right now, and I'm sure my blog is about to get rather melancoly for a while, so feel free to hit the snooze button on your feed reader!

Anyway, back to the title. Ever feel like your life was a movie?

I seem to be one of those people for whom drama is inevitable. I seriously don't search it out, and quite honestly try to avoid it if at all possible, in a number of ways and for a myriad of reasons. But it just keeps searching me out, and unfortunately, alot of times it finds me. (Yes I know there must be something I'm doing and not realising that creates drama, because nobody is innocent, and I am the common denominator, but I do not for the life of me know what it is).

Anyway, besides me currently starring in my own private epic episode of The Bold & The Beautiful, I had a comment the other day from a long standign friend, who has got me to wondering. Alot. She said, and I quote:

"Epskee, you're never going to get anywhere with this. It's like you want to live in a freaking Disney movie. You more than anyone should know, life's not like that"

I'm not quite ready to discuss this in detail, as I am still processing it. Mostly she is referring to 2 things though. Firstly, the fact that I have a seriously poor track record with men, and as she knows me well enough to not need me to say what I am thinking, she knows that in the last 12-24 months I have started to want a proper family. After Sproglet's father and I split (a story for another day, but it was epic drama worthy of its own film & book deal) I went right off men. For a long time. I was completely on my own for the first time, well, ever. For a few years I didn't date. At all. Then, for a few months before the Inadequate Boyfriend (IB) and I hooked up, I started to date, but very casually. Ah, who am I kidding. I wanted me some cock and I went and got some. It wasnt dating. I wasnt ready. I still wasnt ready when IB started messing around. It somehow turned into something serious, and we all know how that ended up!

Anyhoo, being with him wasnt all bad. Obviously. It never is, is it? Otherwise we would have split long before now. Blogs are for bitching, and bitch I have. But we all know that nobody outside of the two people in a relationship ever truly know what it's like - and sometimes even the people in it have no clue either! There was alot of good. So much good in fact, that he managed to break down my carefully constructed protective wall, and had me thinking of children, marriage, all the trappings of a mutual future. Something I have never (conciously at least) really wanted. (despite being engaged before)

The other main thing she was on about was racism. You see, IB is Lebanese, and Muslim. I am Afrikaaner, and have seriously weird views on religion myself, and have many religions in my family, with say 2/3 being of christian persuasion and 1/3 being Jewish. This makes for many an interesting meeting of our families, friends, cultures, religions, beliefs, and the way in which we view the world and live our lives. Honestly? It can get hectic and fucking weird sometimes! There has also been a few um, well, minor clashes between us over these things. And by minor, I am of course lying through my teeth.

Now, I come from somewhere where racism and clashes of culture is well, epic. Luckily - as in either very good luck OR very bad luck - my family comes from an area which is very much rural/country/farmland/outback/boondocks sorta place. So whilst it is still to this day about 1949 in my home town, its also a very long way to your neighbour's place. So yeah, there was (and is) extreme racism and segregation, which I got to regularly see in town with my own two eyes, and experience in a very in-your-face fashion. However, being so far away from town, I also got to live a very isolated existance, and experience the exact opposite.

So in my usual way, I'm going to explain how things were, by saying how things were. Shove it if you don't like what I say, fact is fact and sugar wont coat it. My family were relatively wealthy. For generations. And for generations, we had slaves. Yes, slaves. Now despite how things were to start with (we're talking hundreds of years occupying this single, large property so dont get antsy) things when I was there and bearing witness, were much different to what that word conjours up. In the beginnig, the white folk lived in the big house. The blacks (because that's what they were called) were at some point allowed to build homes on a section of the property. Its a big place, and they could work more if they didn't have to travel so much to get here, see? They were provided food, clothes, and allowed to harvest the building materials necessary. Over time, they were paid a wage. Obviously a crap one at first, but now is quite substantial, and what you would expect living in your western world if you had that job where you are now. The traditional rondavels are now "proper" houses too.

So, as these 'blacks' lived on our land, and worked for us, the men in the fields and the women in the big house, white and black in close proximity, over time the usual racist bullshit gave way to friendship. I mean, this is generation after generation of 2 families living side by side. Both are proud families, and rightly so (but thats another story, or two). So by the time I came along, it was all basically one family. I grew up being read bedtimes stories by the Brothers Grim one night, and by the Zulu the next. The Little Mermaid shared her popularity with Shaka and Dingane. I was always an intelligent and highly inquisitive child, and I ate up the different stories, beliefs, cultures and ways of life. My parents, my mother in particular (Dad is not a Saffa, she met him here in Oz) instilled in me a desire to learn, coupled with a deep respect and appreciation for the differences in both people and all things, and I was fortunate enough to have a very unique start to life, and a very broad view of a wide range of topics. (Especially when my father's heritage was brought in too)

I was taught, and I firmly believe, that people are just people. At the core essentially good, and occasionally naughty - intentionally or otherwise.

That although we celebrate different things on different days, all celebrations are essentially a party, and parties are fun times to be shared with those you care for.

That although we may call God by different names, or believe there are more than one of him, that essentially we all believe the same - there is a higher power out there, and his/her/their message to us is to try our best to be good people. (and that multi-god belief systems are simply a breakdown of the many facets/faces/moods of god, or single deity systems are simply an amalgamation of the many gods into a single form. either/or)

That though we may disagree ona topic, or a way to handle a situation, that right is right and wrong is wrong. Degrees are arguable and a matter of personal opionion. Which is something that will always be debatable. But so long as you are a good person, right is right and wrong is wrong. We can disagree about degrees, but essentially we feel the same, and can live with one another as long as we respect that difference of opinion.

That at the end of the day, the person you are - good or bad - shows in your character. And your character - despite the occasional slightly out-of-chatacter moments in life - is what you should be judged on. And nothing else. Not skin colour, level of education/intelligence, physical/mental deformity, sex, sexual preference, any of that crap.

I've always thought that no matter the differences between our families, friends, religions, opinions, lifestyles, proclivities, etc etc etc, that IB and I could make it work because we love and respect each other. That we are both good, decent people. With similar core values. That the minor differences (like him not eating during ramadan and me refusing to fast because I dont think God wants us to starve.....) are just the variety and spice of life.

The one thing I have nevr thought though, is that this utopia (or disney movie if you will) was impossible, and unreasonable to expect.

Now im no new-age fucktard who things the whole world will be full of peace and love and tolerance (and I take severe issue with people using that word in this sort of context like its a GOOD thing). I know there are, and always will be assholes. Bigots. Rednecks. People who hate just for hates' sake. Whatever. Its their life and they can live it as they please, just as I can.

But seriously. Am I that wrong to think I can have a Disney Movie playing in my own home? Even if no-one else does? Is it THAT impossible?