Dating 101
(aka the things you didn't learn, obvs)
(aka the things you didn't learn, obvs)
1. It is ill-advised to hit on a girl who has a boyfriend. Even if he IS inadequate.
2. When a girl says "no thanks" she means, "ewwwww GET FUCKED - and not by me". Unless she is at a club/pub, in which case she means "ewwwww GET FUCKED - and not by me - and if you don't call me a slut and bugger off in the next 3 seconds I'm finding a bouncer". But mostly when she says that, and is sober, and its the middle of the day, and she explains she wont be changing her mind, has a fella, isn't interested even if she didn't, etc, etc, etc. - well, its time to MOVE ON.
3. "Fat chicks try harder" is a myth. In fact, being fat shows you what lazy cows we are, else we wouldn't be fat. Duh! Really, I just cant be arsed with you.
4. Just because you were given an email address doesn't mean you should use it. Especially since it wasn't me who gave it to you.
5. Furthermore, using that email address to search Crackbook, and then friend-requesting the girl who didn't even give you her email is a waste of time. No it doesn't make us friends because I accepted. Point of fact, I didn't know who you were. I added you because I'm chained to Farmtown and a couple other games. I'm chained to them because my son loves them and letting him play them means I get 20 minutes peace. Except when he cant "level-up" enough to stay interested (or he really REALLY wants a goat/giant-gun-of-some-sort or some crap) and I need to add my name to a list and get more "friends" so he can get a bleating goat or a claymore (bonus points if used together).
6. Annoying people via email on Crackbook doesn't get you instant lovin'. In fact, I mostly ignore my email on crackbook because with my uber-hawtness in my (face)pic I get a bazillion lewd messages and marriage proposals from men in uzebekistan/egypt/algeria/western sydney and other such undesireable locales.
Oh, and by the way? Copying our status' on Crackbook DOES get our attention, so well done. And after we comment that THAT'S STEALING with a "lol" to call a halt to any crazy shit you may like to follow with, a little part of our brain will say "Hang on, who is this tosser and why is he on my facebook?" And indeed that may prompt us to look at your profile. And realise your a game add and I forgot to delete you. Except something about you seems familiar, so we have a quick peek through your profile.........
Married???????
Eeedyot.
0 comments:
Post a Comment