Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?

Well chickens, it seems I am not the agile little Monkey you see just to your right >>>> deftly climbing up a green wall devoid of any handholds...... It seems instead I am manning the local Drive Through. (Fuck you yank cunts, learn to spell).

It seems all I do all day is run around in a baseball cap taking orders for utter crap and filling them with a smile on my face, all for the low low price of $4.95.

Except on the wonderful occasion where some fucktard at corporate HQ decides to issue a coupon and then I get the pleasure of serving you your happy meal for free.

And for some reason I still follow my training and refrain from spitting in your burger when you make me spend 15 minutes searching for the exact toy you want, only to be told you didn't want it anyway.

But of course sir, I'll get your four jobs right away.

I'll serve you your kids birthday with your 2 cakes, your party and all your presents.

There might be a minute wait on your messy house that needs a total spring clean, but I can get your bogan nightlife to stop you from sleeping more than 30minutes at a time right now if you'd like.

There's a dollar off your lucrative government contract that I've never worked at getting before and just scored for you all by myself if you also purchase the responsibility for the entire funeral arrangements whilst your grieving and feeling guilty for not doing more to prevent such a tragedy.

Unfortunately you cant swap the panic attacks for the car that is about to fall apart on you at any moment, although I can ask them to leave off the pickles.

Would you like to supersize your breakup for $1?

Will that be take away or eat in because you still cant find a house that you want to buy?

Certainly sir, I can do your personal tax for you, and its no problem at all that my bank account is overdrawn but you dont want to pay what you owe me, Ill get you a fresh one.

Im afraid sundaes aren't available right now. Our soft serve machine isn't working because its caught in the middle of a family feud that it didn't start, didn't participate in or comment on, doesn't want any part in and thinks is in extremely poor taste, but is apparently entirely responsible for despite being the youngest person "involved" and always having been taught to respect her elders/stay out of things that dont concern her (not to mention always having been told its her job to stop fighting with her sisters/she should know better because she is the eldest). However apple pies are available if youd like dessert because THAT machine hasnt had a single day off for months and has made plenty.

So.

Next time you come to this here blog, be prepared to hear:

Would you like fries with that?