Yes I'm a whinging little twat...

So freaking what?

The world has gone nuts, and I don't like it one bit. It's a seriously fucked up place, and it ain't getting better any time soon. It seriously makes me want to curl up in a little ball and hide.

In other news, I have had an absolute gut full of how unfair life is. Seriously folks, its fucking bollocks. And I'm tired of it. Why do good people never get ahead? Why is the only way to survive and win to play dirty? Well fuck it. I don't give a flying fuck. At least I fucking sleep at night. Oh, wait, no I don't. So why am I still being nice? Since when is being a good person a fucking personality flaw?

More importantly, I have been making efforts to improve myself lately and guess what mofo's? SHE'S WORKING!!! Present blog post aside, my effort to stop, well, seriously curtail the profanities seems to be working. It seems that I am well and truly separated, if not yet divorced from, my fisherman husband. W00t!!!
The losing weight thing is going well, my mother commented that my face looked skinnier the other evening over dinner. Hooray for me! (And all that whilst on my rag and bloated like a freaking hippo people!)
The debts are almost paid off, which is great considering that the debts TO me are piling up, and I'm actually managing on LESS money than when I ran up the bills! WTF? I dunno, but just go with it.
The fear of a certain event that has appeared to be imminent has not passed, however as with most things, humans are incredibly adaptive, and I seem to have adapted to being frightened 95% of the time. It's not going away or getting better, but I am learning to live with it. Not sure yet if this is good or bad. Hmmm.
The loneliness is still something I'm having trouble with though. However again this doesn't feel so desperate any more. At least not 24/7, only at particular moments, and moments pass. Why I'm admitting this I do not know.

Tomorrow is a big day. Strangely I'm not looking forward to it like I thought I would, or like I have every other year. I know why this is, but still.... its rather disconcerting.