The Bizarre and the Bullshit

The Bizarre:

• My son, who is in INFANTS has a girlfriend. He was invited to a sleepover at her house. Her SINGLE DAD thought it would be grand if they stayed in the same bed. Someone get this guy some help. at this age its debatable, but with American kids (and by that of course its only the dumb arsed girls innit) giving blow jobs on the school bus BEFORE THEY HIT PUBERTY, this guy really doesn't seem to be on a good path. Risks and all that shit, y'know? Like whose parents EVER guessed right as to when you first "did it"? C'mon!
  
• My son got sent to "the wall" last week for telling a girl at school to "suck my cock bitch, and lick my salty balls." Too much South Park perhaps? Or is private school not all your paying for? (or perhaps this lesson was an added bonus, a freebie?)
• My son has been felt up on at least 3 occasions THIS TERM by girls at his school. Should I be jealous that he is seeing more action than me?
• The Inadequate Boyfriend is currently shopping for a present for me, and has been for a couple of weeks. This present is another man. Yes folks, my man is researching the purchase of a rent-a-cock. Apparently his desire is to see me absolutely satisfied just for once, me being such a greedy cock-slut with an insatiable libido. This in no way reflects poorly upon his l337 skillz in the boudoir. Our last daytime liaison without the spawn resulted in dozens of orgasms for me, and still I could have gone again for more (maybe this is why i like girls, double the gender = double the sex). But it is indeed bizarre to see him consider people to take home from our night at the club on Saturday, and shopping on adult dating sites, asking "is this the sort of cock you like babe?"
  

And the bullshit:

• You know, sometimes we make mistakes. We are only human after all. But tonight my child came home with something he was terribly proud of. And it broke my heart. And made me hate someone, and not just a little. Because of them I have made a HUGE error. And it hurts, and I regret it, and I don't know how to fix it. It hurts double and triple. I hurt for my kid, I hurt for me, I hurt for the situation, and for my stupidity in allowing it to happen. And its fucking bullshit, mate. Utter bullshit.