Do I Not Speak English Well Or Something?

Some dumb fuck was annoying me today. Last night he was messaging me on msn. I had no idea who he was as he had only just added me, so I asked him. He didn't answer. So I asked again. He kept on trying to draw me into a conversation. Eventually I told the dumb fucktard that I wasn't going to talk to him unless he told me who he was, and how he got my address. Not that I was really going to talk to the dumb fuck anyway - clearly he was a retarded wanker.

Eventually after me ignoring about 10 messages, he 'fesses up that indeed he does NOT know me, he just saw my facebook profile and thought I was hot, so he stole my email and added me to msn. (Case in point as to why I have my hotmail addy on there, not my real email!)

So I told him what a fuckwit he was and ignored him some more, thinking that by the time I got back online he would have shrivelled up and died as all scum does.

But oh no, at work today, there he was messaging me again. Telling me how i was a rude bitch and owed him the courtesy of a response AND an apology!

After almost falling off my seat laughing, I told him what i really thought, and apologised that he existed. He barraged some more abuse (stupid work uses OLD msn and I don't know where the block button is and am too lazy to find it) so I sent him a message which I thought was rather clear and concise:

"Fuck off, wanker. Go away, I'm very busy and important."
10 bonus points if you can guess where that line comes from!

He didn't get it, obvs.

I went to lunch and left my PC on as usual (are we sensing a running theme of laziness here?) because I couldn't be bothered dealing with him, and thought perhaps a little time in the wilderness would cure what ailed him. Over an hour later, he was STILL ranting at me. He finished with a flourish of threats, telling me if I didn't answer him RIGHT NOW I would never hear from him again!

Oh Noes!

I printed it out, and took it to the kitchenette where a few of the cubicle monkeys joined me in a hearty giggle. *sigh* Most satisfactory. Just what was needed on a quiet Wednesday in the concrete jungle.

So I'm just sitting here at my desk (blogging on company time, clearly.... perks of upper management!) and I'm wondering..... where do all these psycho's come from? And, much more importantly, how do they all manage to find me?